he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
