Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
