I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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