I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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