They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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