Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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