I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
