One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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