i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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