I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
