Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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