Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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