just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
