Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
