Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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