Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The Olympian is in my bed
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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