My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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