i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize