I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
