I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
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