the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
