with your own penis?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
