hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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