my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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