Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't tell me you're on acid again
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
