You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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