Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
