Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How does one acquire holy water?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
