so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
