What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize