I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My liver just had a heart attack.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
please don't ironically join a cult
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize