Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
