Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
