I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
