i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
