She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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