nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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