is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
