Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
