I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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