I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
