Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
