I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
