I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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