no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
