I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
