just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
