normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
