I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
