Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
