Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize