My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Randomize
