Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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