I wish I could teleport
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize