i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
