We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
