Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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