i wish my penis had a tongue
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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