Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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