no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
