everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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