Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
