i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
