And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
