Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
