Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
