once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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