How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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