Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Shame - the story of my life.
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