I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
