What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
