i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize