What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
